LAC2201 Group Assignment: Chinese Audio Podcast

About our guest speaker:

Chen Minqi (陈旻祺) is Heizel's friend for five years. A native Hangzhou-born, Minqi moved to Singapore in 2007 under MOE school-based scholarship. Currently, Minqi is studying Computer Science at National University of Singapore.


Job scopes:

All of us put in equal amount of effort in the production of this audio podcast, but the following is the breakdown of our individual roles.

1. Searched for guest host: Heizel
2. Wrote the script: all of us
3. Hosted the podcast: all of us
4. Acted in the podcast: all of us

• Heizel as the Indonesian tourist
• Kevin Ardian as the restaurant owner and narrator
• Kevin as the giftshop owner and narrator
• Minqi as the local Chinese friend

5. Produced the audio file: all of us
6. Made edits: Heizel

Self reflections:

At first, we felt that this assignment was too difficult and time-consuming to do. We did not understand how it could help us in our Chinese-learning journey. However, it turns out that we were totally wrong.

Looking back, we had a lot of fun in brainstorming and coming up with ideas to put into our script. Some of our ideas were so crazy that we couldn’t help but to laugh at them. Also, we realize that the most difficult part was to find a time when all of us could meet up together to record the podcast. However, we were quite efficient as we didn’t spend too much time in recording the podcast.

Lastly, this experience has helped us in improving our Chinese-speaking abilities. Through our interaction with Minqi, we managed to pick up the correct pronunciations for some of the new words. We also had the opportunity to practice our speaking abilities. In addition, we ourselves learn some common conversations in China through our podcast, and we hope that the audience can benefit from our podcast as well. We would also like to specially thank our beloved 张老师 who has been extremely helpful and supportive with her feedbacks and guidance throughout.

Through this experience, we rediscovered our interests in learning Chinese. It was a humbling experience indeed. We also realize that we need to hone our Chinese further so that one day (hopefully) we may speak much better Chinese. We really hope that all of you enjoy listening to our podcast as much as we enjoy making it. 拜拜!

Beautiful in its time

Hola! Today is October 9th, 2012, which means that I've officially been a university student for more than two months. It's been a great journey so far. I've finally moved in to my own room in the boarding school. My grades so far are satisfactory. I've just finished my last midterm paper, too. Life is good.

National University of Singapore, my beloved school

To you who are reading this, perhaps you think that my life is too good to be true. However, few of you know what I went through in my first weeks after I moved back to Singapore this year. Right now, I want to tell you my story, of how it was God's grace alone that saw me through those dark days.


July 2012

It was the last few days of holiday before I had to fly back to Singapore. I was having lunch with my mom at Trans Studio Mall (formerly known as Bandung Super Mall) when the news came - I would have no place to stay in Singapore. As some of you might have known, I made an application to become an assistant hall tutor (sort of assistant teaching staff) in my boarding school in Singapore. Just when I thought my application was successful, I received the news that the teachers needed more time before confirming my place. Then the question was, where am I gonna stay while waiting for the decision to be made? An option might be to rent a room for a month before moving in to boarding school, provided my application succeeded. Yet, I spent hours searching for a room-for-rent, only to find that none of the owners were willing to rent their rooms for such a short period of time. Right until the day before my flight, I still had nowhere to stay. In the end, I decided to call my ex-teacher and asked if I could stay with her for a couple of days while I looked for a room to rent. Thankfully, she said yes, and so I ended up staying in her place for the next one month.

It was her birthday last week. Thank you madam, for everything J

August 2012

Although it was very nice of my ex-teacher to let me stay with her, it was far from the comfort I used to enjoy during the holiday. Back home, I had a bedroom with a queen-sized bed all for myself. Yet, I had to sleep on a fold-able mattress on the floor in my ex-teacher's place. That wasn't the end. At that time, I was going through a heartbreak, and since I missed all the orientations and camps, I virtually had no friends to talk with. I ended up sitting on the sofa all by myself in self-pity, wondering why all these happened to me. "Why me?", I asked God. As a perfectionist, I had visualized how my life would look like when I went back to Singapore - happily attached, made a lot of new friends, had my own comfortable room, and all the great things I could have had. So where did I go wrong, that I deserved such a tragic ending? Honestly, it was a very tough struggle for me. I had nothing to do whole day, since school was yet to start. I was still very sad after losing my significant one. Back then, I had two options. I could continue wallowing in self-pity and refused to accept the stark reality that I had lost everything, OR I could start reflecting on my experience and learned something from it. I'm not gonna lie - I chose the first one. For the next two weeks, I turned into an emo and bitter person with no purpose in life. There were moments when it was all too overwhelming that I really had to struggle just to hold back tears. I was tired, both emotionally and mentally.

The good life I have planned

Then came the watershed moment (i.e. turning point) to it. On one of the days, I was so free that I decided to read the story of Job in the Bible. Job used to have everything - wealth, happy family, social status, health - before God let Satan test him by taking everything he had. I thought that my story is similar to his, so perhaps there might be some things I could learn from him. (By the way, at the end of the story, God restored Job's life with twice as much blessings, so Job must have responded to his situation well.) So how did Job respond when everything he had was taken away? The answer can be found on Job 1:21.

And he said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the LORD."

Right there, right then, I felt as if I was slapped on the face. What was my suffering compared to Job's? I'm still as healthy as ever. I have the best family anyone could ever ask for. I'm blessed more than most people are. If Job, in his great loss, could still praise God, why couldn't I?

After I finished reading the book of Job, I decided to change my attitude entirely. Whenever I felt sad, I would pray and worship God in songs and writings. Whenever I remembered my significant one, I would quietly pray for her in my heart. I told myself that God is more than able to change my situation in a blink of an eye. After all, my story with her was a miracle in itself. (How many people you know manage to escape the friendzone alive?) Truly, God gave and God took away; blessed be His name.

Yet another lesson I learned through all that happened

September 2012

So, did things suddenly got better from then on? No. In fact, things only got worse when I started talking less and less with her. There was no news about my assistant hall tutor application yet, either. If prayers are powerful, then why didn't it work for me? Why hasn't my situation got better? I struggled with that question before God spoke through my beloved aunt.

If you are evil, and a powerful prayer is coming towards you, what are you going to do? You will try to fight back to make the situation worse, right? What does it prove? Your prayer is so strong that evil actually fears.

There was no word to say how encouraged and strengthened I was by my aunt. Holding on to His promise, I moved forward in faith to where I am today.


October 2012

Back to the present, today marks 70th day of my walk with God here in Singapore. It has not been easy, but looking back, it was well worth the pain. To cut the long story short, God has been challenging me in a few areas of my life since August. His plan was made known to me through the Bible verses He gave me along the way. I'd like to share some of them with you here.

Fear not, for I am with you. (Isaiah 41:10)

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

If there is one thing that has kept me going, it must be His Word from the Bible. Everyday when I read the Bible in my quiet time, I was constantly reminded of God's love and mercy in my life, and that He has the best plan for me. God is good, yeah?


Right now, I'm sitting for a test of faith from God. I can't tell you the story in detail, but I believe that He will give me the strength to pass the test in flying colors. But don't worry, I would surely share the good news with all of you once the test is over. So yeah, that's all I have to say. I want to end this writing with another verse from the Bible, which is found in Ephesians 3:20.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.

Keep praying, keep believing, keep strengthening one another in faith. I hope you are blessed with what you just read. If you are, please share this message so that more people will have their lives touched as well. Jesus bless you. J

我的最好(zuì hǎo: best)的生日。

去年是我的十九岁生日。那是我最好的生日。 我的出生日是一九九二年二月十六日， 属猴。 二月十五日星期六晚上，我跟我的好朋友伊万 (Ivan) 去教会 (Jiàohuì: church) ，十一点才回宿舍 ，很累。 我的朋友们都一直在等待 (yìzhí zài děngdài: have been waiting) 我们回来。当我们回到宿舍时，他们给我一个惊喜派对 (jīngxǐ pàiduì: surprise party) 。 有十八个人， 都是印尼人 (Yìnní rén: Indonesian) 。 他们祝我生日快乐，唱生日快乐歌，也送我一个大可可 (kěkě: cocoa) 蛋糕，又漂亮又好吃！我们一起 (yīqǐ: together) 玩儿，当然我们很高兴。

我的惊喜派对

我吹生日蜡烛 (chuī shēngrì làzhú:  blowing birthday candles  )

我和我的好朋友

第二天 (dì èr tiān: the next day) 是星期日，是假期 (jiàqī: holiday) ，我们不上课。我们要在早上去游泳 ，但 (dàn: but) 下雨 (xià yǔ: raining) ， 所以 (suǒyǐ: so) 我们不能去游泳。到了下午，朋友们 参加我在糖水吧 (Sweet Dynasty Cafetaria) 的生日聚会

糖水吧 (Sweet Dynasty Cafetaria)

我用了Groupon 优惠券 (yōuhuì quàn: coupon) ，有三折 (sān zhé: 70% discount) ， 所以我没有花 (huā: to spend) 太多的钱。包括 （bāokuò: including) 我 , 有八个人参加。我们吃西式餐点 （xīshì cān diǎn: Western food ），喝冰水 (bīng shuǐ: ice water) ，也吃甜点 （tiándiǎn: dessert) 。

烤鸡扒 (kǎo jī bā: grilled chicken steak)

炸鱼片 (zhà yú piàn: fish and chips)

芒果汁 (mángguǒ zhī: mango juice)

在回家之前 (zhīqián: before) ， 我们一起拍照 (pāizhào: take a photograph) 。我喜欢跟我的好朋友们庆祝 (qìngzhù: celebrate) 我的生日。（４０２ 字）

友谊地久天长
(yǒuyì dì jiǔ tiāncháng: friendship lasting forever)

A glimpse of my first day as a uni student

Hello. Last Monday was officially my first day as an NUS student. To tell you frankly, it wasn’t that bad. The first lecture was 2 hours of Marketing from 9 to 11 am (very early, I know). The prof has a funny Singlish accent, which made it difficult at first to absorb what he was saying. Nevertheless, after the first hour has passed, I was already more comfortable with his teaching style. Despite not knowing anyone in the lecture, I found the class interesting (maybe cos I’m into this kind of business-related stuffs). It also turned out that the prof was the co-author of the textbook we are going to use for this semester. Cool huh? But it won’t sound cool anymore if I tell you that the book cost me $53 (that’s after discount already). That’s enough $$$ to go for sushi buffet three times. L

Da book

After that, I was supposed to have an English class for Critical Thinking and Writing, but fortunately (or unfortunately) the class was cancelled, leaving me with 5 hours of free and easy before the next class started. However, I had to attend a placement test for my Chinese class before heading for lunch. The test was so hard, I gave up halfway. Thanks to the test, I was late for a lunch appointment with my Chemical Engineering (Chem Eng) buddies. In the end, I had my lunch alone. Luckily the food was good, as I will eat this food for the next four years.

After lunch, I decided to spend the rest of my free time in the library where I met Novi. She was sleeping (lol) when I saw her in the snack corner. I read my new marketing book while waiting for her to wake up. We then talked about many things, including her question “If a guy likes a girl, what would he want her to give him?” Weird, I know. Haha. But time flew as we talked, and it was time for Math lecture (yay or boo?)

We had two hours of Math. It was good cos I got to sit with our other Chem Eng friends (Ivan, Novi, Marcella, Icha). The lecturer for this module had decent English grammatically, but his thick Chinese accent made it hard to catch what he said. For instance, his pronunciation of “down” sounded like “tongue”. His intonation was also very flat and had a dozing effect. Bad, bad news for me, since Math isn’t my strongest subject. Well, guess it just means that I must put in more effort in this subject.

That’s pretty much how my first day went. Not so bad, right? Will write another post about the dance open classes I went for in that week next time. That’s all for now folks! Jesus bless you all J

Bonus: my timetable (assuming my balloting is successful). If you notice, I always have a day or two off after two days of school e.g. Mon-Tue school, Wed holiday, Thurs-Fri school, Sat-Sun holiday. Good life huh...

What happened last week (part I)

Hi again. Just came back from church on a Saturday night. Tired, but feel like I should write another blog post. God has done so many miracles in my life recently, and I want to share some of them. It may get a little personal, so here we go.


1. Jesus healed my broken heart

It's like stating the obvious. From my past few posts, I'm sure anyone can tell that I've just had a heartbreaking experience. I don't want to go into the detail. It doesn't really matter now anyway. There is this close friend I've had a crush on for like forever. Things went well at first, but as times passed by, we realized that it wasn't gonna work out anymore between us. We decided to end it there and then, but I guess I was the one left with a worse heartbreak. There were days when I was so depressed, all I could do was praying and reading the Bible. At times, it was also hard to withhold tears from flowing. As pathetic as it may sound, I would break down in the shower when the painful feelings got to its worst. It was all regret and sadness back then.

However, looking back, there were positive sides to the experience as well. During those days, I managed to finish the whole book of Job and Psalm in just a few days. I'm gonna move on to Matthew, and then Rome, very soon. I also got as close to Jesus as ever, spending way more time in prayer than before. I drew strength from His Word as well as from singing worship songs whenever and wherever I could. Talking to my friends and family helped a lot, too. Right now, I'm already feeling much better, although it may take some time for the wound to heal completely. It was so painful, trust me. Nonetheless, the whole experience has drawn me closer to Jesus in every aspect. Thus, I know for sure that this is all part of His plan for me. Learn to be thankful. As Pastor Phil shared in church this evening, "Don't underestimate the power of a grateful heart."


2. Jesus healed my body

Besides the painful heartbreak, I had been struggling with health issues in this past week as well. As some of you may have known, every freshman student at NUS has to undergone a medical test before enrolling into the university. I first took the test in May this year. I breezed through the stations with confidence, only to find that there was a problem with my urine test result. After consulting the doctor, I discovered that my urine sample contained excessive amount of blood, which wasn't a good news at all. The doctor advised me to repeat the test as soon as I was back in Singapore. Then, on the first day of August, I came back to the University Health Center (UHC) to repeat my test.

I felt neither anxious nor afraid, as I thought I was just unlucky the other day. I was wrong. When the result was released, the concentration of blood in the urine sample increased compared to the last time. To give you a clearer picture, normal people should only have 0-3 part of blood in their urine sample. The result for my second test revealed that my urine sample contained 150 part of blood. It was 50 times that of a normal person. If you think that it wasn't a big deal, you were wrong once again. High level of blood in the urine sample may be linked to serious diseases such as kidney stones, urinary tract infection, or even cancers. Bad news.

This time round, the doctor asked me to see a specialist immediately, to which I objected. Besides the likely exorbitant cost it might incur, I shuddered at the possibility of having to suffer serious illnesses. Instead, I requested to take the test for the third time. I then spent the next one week drinking bottles after bottles of water because I thought it could help to dissolve the blood. I couldn't do any exercise either, as it might affect the result of the test. My parents were equally worried, if not more. I told them to prepare for the worst if I failed the test again. We prayed hard, asking Jesus to touch and heal me from whatever had caused the excessive blood level. When the day for the repeat test came, I surrendered everything to Him. Did all I could: drinking water like camels, saying 'no' to futsal, and so on. The rest was His, I prayed. Truly, our God is One who never disappoints. It turned out that the test was my third and last. In only one week, my blood level dropped from 150 to zero. Praise the Lord!


Right now, I've been praying hard, asking God what He wants me to do next. Here is the verse that I got from Him:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL these things shall be added to you." - Matthew 6:33

Yup, I'll use this opportunity to hone my faith in Jesus. After all, as a friend told me, talking to God about the person is more powerful than talking to the person herself. Pray hard, move on with life, and perhaps one day miracles will happen in my life. I'll close with this verse from Matthew:

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." - Matthew 7:7

Christ bless you all :)

Maroon 5 - Payphone

I must say this is one of my favorite songs of all time. At first, I didn't pay much attention to the lyrics. Now that I do, I realize how similar the lyrics is to my own story. Allow me to go through the lyrics, line by line. I promise this won't be an emo post. I hope you don't have to go through the same experience as me :)

"Home" is your heart, and "all of my change" means my everything. I gave it my all, trying to reach your heart.

We used to share good times together, but everything just seems wrong, now that you left. What were plans would have to remain as plans, never to become our reality.

It's just so easy to lose ourselves as we move on with our new lives. There will come a time when we won't even recognize ourselves as we look back to how we used to be.

I really struggled hard to accept the bitter truth that you will never be mine, that we are never destined to be together.

I never dared to ask you for a second chance. When you told me it's not gonna work out, deep inside I was longing for another chance to make it right this time. But I never had it.

If only you said yes, we could have been happy together now. Yet, here I am, trying desperately to save whatever friendship remains between us.

Not really. I believe everything happened for a purpose. I don't know what it is, but I believe He knows what He's doing. But I can't deny that I was totally "paralyzed", devastated and heartbroken when you "turned out the lights", ending whatever happily-ever-after stories we could have had.

Yeah, even the most beautiful story has to end someday. It was love, wasn't it? Too bad something has to come around and screw everything up.

Nah. Not for me at least. I have lost you. Why should I believe in the happy ever after lie?

Some stories are just too good to be true, including ours.

Yeah, I know the future looks so much more fun and exciting for you. But please, never forget who or what was behind you. You wouldn't be where you are if not for them, you know.

I did. And when you decided to threw it away, it hurt like hell.

I wasn't fine. Far from it. I really liked you, so how can you expect me to be fine when I lost you? But you don't have to worry, because I will be alright. I will...

I hope this won't happen to us. We lost the love. Don't let the friendship burn down too.

Now I'm at the Payphone...

I'll still be here. Just look back, and I'll be there for you...

A long-overdue thank-you note :)

As I was browsing through the older posts in my blog, I noticed that my last thank-you note was written almost two years ago. I forgot to be thankful, especially during a time like this when nothing seems right anymore. So here I am, trying to write a thank-you note despite everything that has been happening lately. Here we go...

My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
God, I'm sorry if I have loved her more than I love You. I still remember my first prayer to You about her: "If she is the one for me, let it be so. If not, please take her away." It's all crystal-clear now. Although this might not be what I want, I still thank You for the strength to go through this difficult time. Thank you, Father.

Papah and Mamah
Thank you for taking care of me, especially as I spent my holiday with both of you this year. I'm sorry for those times when I hurt you with my words. If only I had listened to mom's advice, I wouldn't have been this heartbroken right now. So yeah, I couldn't express how grateful I am to be your son. Thank you...

Ema
Thank you grandma, for always listening to my story about her, without judging me or anything. Thank you for the invaluable advice and encouragement. Your presence has been a gift from God, and I'm thankful for that. You may never see this, but I hope you know how much I love you, ma.

Ooh Lilis
From the start, you have always been that special aunt in my life. Thank you for listening as I poured my hearts out to you. Seriously, you are like a role model for me, and the standard you set is so high! Thank you for teaching me the Five Fingers Prayer, too. I can only say thank you, thank you, thank you for your love, although I am not even your own son...

Deiver
Thanks bro, for everything. You have been a great friend, and sometimes even a role model, to me especially since we both moved to Singapore years ago. We might not always talk about everything, but when we do, it really gives me the strength to keep going. Thanks God for my brother.

Gide, Bijei, Sunson
Thank you guys, for always being there for me in my high and low. This may sound gay, but I love all of you. I wouldn't have been able to survive heartbreaks in the past, and definitely not this time, if not for you all. Thank you.

Josephine
Thanks Pin, for always being the listening ear when others are too tired with my sad stories. Thank you for all the words of encouragement when I was feeling down. Thank you for letting me see things from the girls' perspectives. Thank you for reminding me to count on God in everything. Thank you.

Pauline
Thank you for being one of the few girls I can be really close to. Although we may not talk as often as we used to, now that you are in Melbourne, I want you to know how thankful I am for all the stories and the good times we shared. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Kezia
Don't judge me because I include her name here, although we barely know each other. Just wanna thank you for all the writings in your blog. You have no idea how much they have helped me through the hard times. Continue to be stronger in Him, and be a blessing to more people, just like how you have been to me.

Others, so many that I can't write all your names here
Miss Grace Kwee, Freddy GS, Liauw, Adit, Metew, Ooh Leina, and many more. Thank you for being part of my life, each of you adding colours into it. Thank you.

Anguish

Into the second week here, and still nothing much to do. Should have signed up for Engin O-Week earlier instead of waiting for my friends. Regret, that ‘s it.

Things haven’t really got better, either. Still homeless, and mentally worn-out from the seemingly-endless problems. You were still as distant as ever, both physically and emotionally. I start to wonder if things will ever get better between us. It’s almost been a month, you know. If only I could turn back the time to that day when I saw you for the last time. It hurts to look back. A lot.

Sometimes I wish I could go to any university I want to, with or without scholarship. But yeah, I know life isn’t always fair. As much as I know how harmful the phrase “If only” is, I can’t seem to get away from it. If only this, if only that...

From wishing to become your significant one, I have downgraded my wish all the way to just being friends. Right now, I’ll be happy if I can still talk to you. Yeah, I lost everything in just a week. One week is all it takes. It’s all a mess now, and I have nobody to blame but myself. Yet, everything has always been too good to be true from the start. Should have realized that it wouldn’t last. Far from it, in fact.

But I know things cannot remain this way forever. I might have fallen down, but I must pick myself up, soon or later. I try my best to fix my eyes on Him, who is more than able to make everything better right here, right now. Been praying hard, but things only seem to get worse and worse. It's been a while since my faith was tested like this. I try to believe that I'm not far from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. If I can endure all these trials, things will soon get better. Keep praying, keep believing. Hope everything is well for you over there, too...

Just wanna share a verse with you all

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

- Isaiah 41:10

His Timely Encouragement

Hello. Here I am on the Saturday afternoon, writing my thoughts and feelings in this blog of mine. Last night, I was feeling so down that all I could do was just lying down on my bed. Yet, my brother reminded me that "When you are feeling sad, the best thing to do is to blog!" It was then that I learned two things: that I should write another blog post, and that my brother has a blog. So, the next morning (which is this morning), I turned my laptop on, and started searching for his blog. It was nowhere to be found, neither in his Facebook nor in his Twitter. Finally, after much effort, I found it.

"When you are feeling sad, the best thing to do is to blog!"

His blog is simplistic, but it became obvious to me after reading his recent two posts that his writings are honest, and come straight from the heart. He wrote about a lot of things, from friendship to love to academics. There is one post in which he wrote about me helping him for his IOC, and how thankful he is for it. It was nothing, bro. Glad to be of help. I want you to know something, though. Whenever people ask me what are my most proud moments in life, I would answer them with two things. First, that I won a scholarship to Singapore five years ago. Second, that my brother himself won the same scholarship too. There is no better feeling than to know that your sibling is doing as well, if not more, than you do.

There is no better feeling than to know that your sibling is doing as well, if not more, than you do.

Me and my bro

Just as how your writing has brightened my day significantly, so I want to take my turn to cheer you up. Yes, IB can be overwhelming at times. I know how it feels to be only months away from the final exam because I have been through it myself. But it's only August now, and there's more than enough time to catch up with your study. Remember, the fact that you won the scholarship by your own effort (and God's grace, of course) means that you have the potential to excel in school. Now that all the assignments and CCAs are over, take the time everyday to start revising your concepts. If I get the place as an AHT, I would dedicate my time to help you prepare for the prelim, and then the IB exam. Don't hesitate to ask me if you are unclear with anything. I might not be the smartest senior around, but I'm willing to go the extra mile just for my brother. Work hard, but more importantly, pray hard. God is never "setengah-setengah" in doing His work, and when He gave you the scholarship to ACSI, He would surely give you the strength to push on and do well in school. Do know that our family (papah, mamah, and even ema) are all behind you, praying for you everyday.

Yes, it's been a wonderful 18-19 years I have spent with my brother. Right now, he is three months away from his IB exam. I'm sure he will work hard, but no matter how he does, we all still love him. Now go there and reach your dream!

My first day as a homeless soul in Singapore

Hi everyone. After eight awesome-months of holiday, I'm finally back to Singapore, my second home for the past 5 years and counting. While it seems that I have grown accustomed to the lifestyle in Bandung, it turns out that I didn't feel as horrible as I thought I would upon stepping my foot into this beloved hot-and-humid city. In fact, I'm quite excited to see what tomorrow has to offer here, with all the upcoming busyness as a university student and all. God is good, indeed.

My beloved hometown.

To be honest with you, yesterday was one of the worst days I have had this year. Since the morning, I had been frantically searching for a room to rent in Singapore. Why I still have nowhere to stay ONE DAY before my flight is a long, long story. To make things worse, I felt myself falling sick too, perhaps from compounded amount of stress and over-thinking. As if that was not enough, I received another bad news in the afternoon, which turned my world upside down. I was tired, sad, disappointed, and simply had had enough.

Fortunately, I somehow managed to survive the tough day. When I woke up in the morning, I still felt horrible. I literally closed my eyes, hoping that things would be different when I opened them. Then the bitter reality dawned on me: I'm going back to Singapore in a few hours.

This place wouldn't look so fun anymore if you have lived here for 5 years, trust me.

On the plane, I happened to get an inner seat just next to the window. I'll tell you a secret - I couldn't withhold tears from flowing. It sucks to remember all the good things that once were, and compare them with the stark reality that awaited me in Singapore. On the plane, when I listened to the song Payphone by Maroon 5, which carries a personally fond memory for me, it was just too much. Couple it with the fact that I still have no shelter in the land of the lion, and imagine how awful I felt.

Thankfully, no feelings last forever. As soon as I got off the plane, I already felt much better. Perhaps it's true that the best way to forget a painful memory is to keep ourselves busy with other thoughts. By the evening, I was feeling much better, and am getting better as each second passes.

Thankfully, no feelings last forever.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to my new university, National University of Singapore, to settle some administrative matters in the morning. Later on, there will be an introductory session to the Engineering course at NUS, which I have signed up for. Let's just hope things will keep getting better for me here. I will survive!

Disappointment

This post is somewhat inspired by my friend's insightful writings on the topics of "Waiting" and "Hope" which you can find here: http://keziaisgrace.blogspot.com/. If you read Indonesian, please read her blog posts (and subscribe to her blog too) before you continue with mine.

"Last week, I ordered a self-help CD on How to Handle Disappointment.
When the package came this morning, it was empty."

I came across the short story above on Twitter a few weeks ago. In case some of you don't get the joke, it was saying that the first step to handling disappointment is to go through the painful experience yourself. "How true", I thought. "Been there, done that", said the hippies.

I'm sure that everyone has experienced this feeling called disappointment, regardless of who you are or how old you are. For a 14-year-old girl, perhaps the greatest disappointment may be to be promised a new iPhone by her father if she can get the top three ranks in class, only to find that her father doesn't keep his promise even after she studies hard and gets the second rank. For a 20-year-old, probably falling out of love will be the ultimate form of disappointment. On the other hand, a 24-year-old fresh university graduate will be disappointed if he/she is unable to find a job.

No matter who you are or how old you are, everybody, including you and I, are prone to disappointment.

So how is this writing related to Waiting and Hope? Well, you only wait for something that you hope for, like good grades in exams or that someone special to return your feeling. Yet, you don't always get what you want, and that would result in disappointment. The fact that nobody ever gets everything makes it clear that everyone can and will be disappointed at certain points in their lives. Hence, it's important to know how to deal with disappointment so that, when it comes, you can cope with it well and move on with life.

First, it's important to recognize that, when you hope for something, you are making yourself vulnerable to disappointment. It's so true that the only way not to feel disappointed is to hope for nothing, just like how you can avoid failure by never trying.

The only way not to feel disappointed is to hope for nothing, just like how you can avoid failure by never trying.

Most of the time, if not always, hope, waiting, and risking disappointment come in one package. The greater the hope is, the longer you would have to wait for it, and the greater the risk of disappointment will be. A birthday boy who expects a Mercedes for his birthday present will be more disappointed when he unwraps a key of a second-hand KIA Picanto than if he had only expected a new Honda Jazz. Similarly, a boy who had harbored a feeling for a girl for years would be less disappointed to be rejected than if he had only liked her for a few months. The higher our expectation or the longer our wait, the more disappointed we will be.

So, how can we avoid disappointment? To put it simply, we can't. The moment we stop hoping, that's when we stop living. It's all part and puzzle of life, whether you like it or not. The only thing that we can do is to lessen the impact of disappointment, and move on with life as quickly as we can.

It's also important to distinguish the two types of disappointment. The first, less painful form of disappointment is one when you don't get what you want, but deep inside you know that most likely you won't get it. A boy who confesses to a girl and gets rejected will surely be disappointed, but it will not hurt as much as if he once had the girl, but lost her. This brings us to the second type of disappointment, one that leaves a wound so bad sometimes it can turn a sensitive person into a heartless heart-breaker. Consider this scenario: a couple who had been in a relationship for years break up because the girl was caught cheating with another man. (No, I'm not talking about Kristen Stewart). Imagine how much pain the guy would feel, and it's obviously more painful than if they were not a couple and the girl went out with another man. In this case, the guy realizes that they were very near to living out the happily-ever-after ending, but circumstances beyond his control screw everything up. Yes, this is the more painful form of disappointment, and it can happen to us too.

Having said all of the above, how can we deal with disappointment, whether the less painful or the more painful one? For me personally, I have survived disappointments in the past by holding tight on God's promise that if He doesn't give me what I ask for, it just means that He has something better for us in store.

I'm talking about no. 3

P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens) is good, but sometimes that something is not always what we want or expect. Yet, it's the most we can do, as the rest lies in God's hand. So, the next time you have to face disappointment, be it from a rejection or a failure, always remember that something better awaits you in the future. Disappointment is never the end of everything; it's always the start of something better. I hope this writing has been a blessing to all of you. Jesus bless you.

A Short Reflection

Hello again! Thank you for clicking the link to this post. Since I've already written about some "galau" stuffs yesterday, I'm gonna write about something more constructive today. It's an article taken from my devotional book, but it really is applicable even to the non-Christian as well. It is also special because my hometown is featured in this article, read by millions of people all over the world! Lastly, I've included an Indonesian translation after the English version. Hopefully this can be a blessing to each and everyone of you reading this. God bless!


Who's Behind It?

Verse of the day:
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights." - James 1:17

At a cultural show in Bandung, Indonesia, we enjoyed a wonderful orchestra performance. Before the finale, the 200 people in the audience were each handed an angklung, a musical instrument made of bamboo. We were taught how to shake it in rhythm with the conductor's timing. Soon we thought we were performing like an orchestra; we felt so proud of how well we were doing! Then it dawned on me that we were not the ones who were good; it was the conductor who deserved the credit.

Angklung

Similarly, when everything is going well in our lives, it's easy to feel proud. We're tempted to think that we are good and that it is by our abilities that we've achieved success. During such moments, we tend to forget that behind it all is our good God who prompts, prevents, provides, and protects.

David remembered that truth: "Then King David went in and sat before the Lord; and he said: 'Who am I, O LORD God? And what is my house, that You have brought me this far?'" (1 Chron. 17:16). David's heart swelled up in appreciation of God's goodness.

The next time we are tempted to take credit for the blessings we enjoy, let's pause and remember that it is the Lord who brings blessing. - Albert Lee


Indonesian translation:

Ayat nats:
"Setiap pemberian yang baik dan setiap anugrah yang sempurna, datangnya dari atas, diturunkan dari Bapa segala terang." - Yakobus 1:17

Dalam sebuah pameran kebudayaan di Bandung, Indonesia, kami menikmati sebuah pertunjukkan orkestra yang luar biasa. Sebelum finale, setiap dari 200 orang penonton diberikan sebuah angklung, alat musik tradisional dari bambu. Kami diajarkan untuk menggoyangkan angklung tersebut seirama dengan ketukan konduktor. Tidak lama, kami merasa bahwa kami bermain bak orkestra sungguhan; kami merasa sangat bangga akan diri kami sendiri! Namun saya menyadari bahwa bukanlah kami yang hebat, melainkan sang konduktor.

Ketika setiap hal di hidup kita berjalan dengan baik, mudah sekali bagi kita untuk merasa bangga. Kita tergoda untuk berpikir bahwa kita hebat dan kemampuan kita lah yang membawa kita pada keberhasilan. Pada saat-saat seperti itu, kita cenderung melupakan bahwa dibalik semua itu, ada Tuhan kita yang baik, yang mengingatkan, mencegah, menyediakan, dan menjagai kita.

Daud mengingat kebenaran tersebut: "Lalu masuklah raja Daud ke dalam, kemudian duduklah ia di hadapan TUHAN sambil berkata: 'Siapakah aku ini, ya TUHAN Allah, dan siapakah keluargaku, sehingga Engkau membawa aku sampai sedemikian ini?'" (1 Tawarikh 17:16). Hati Daud berlimpah dengan ucapan syukur akan kebaikkan Tuhan.

Apabila kita tergoda untuk menganggap berkat-berkat Tuhan sebagai hasil jerih payah kita, marilah kita berhenti sejenak dan mengingat bahwa berkat berasal dari Tuhan saja. - Albert Lee


As I read the reflection above, I realized, in shame, how often I felt proud of what I have achieved while in fact it has always been God who poured down his blessings into my life. Soon, I'll be going to Singapore to start a new chapter of my life in university. By posting this article here, I hope I will always be reminded that all good things in my life come from God alone. Jesus bless you.