Hola! Today is October 9th, 2012, which means that I've officially been a university student for more than two months. It's been a great journey so far. I've finally moved in to my own room in the boarding school. My grades so far are satisfactory. I've just finished my last midterm paper, too. Life is good.
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| National University of Singapore, my beloved school |
To you who are reading this, perhaps you think that my life is too good to be true. However, few of you know what I went through in my first weeks after I moved back to Singapore this year. Right now, I want to tell you my story, of how it was God's grace alone that saw me through those dark days.
July 2012
It was the last few days of holiday before I had to fly back to Singapore. I was having lunch with my mom at Trans Studio Mall (formerly known as Bandung Super Mall) when the news came - I would have no place to stay in Singapore. As some of you might have known, I made an application to become an assistant hall tutor (sort of assistant teaching staff) in my boarding school in Singapore. Just when I thought my application was successful, I received the news that the teachers needed more time before confirming my place. Then the question was, where am I gonna stay while waiting for the decision to be made? An option might be to rent a room for a month before moving in to boarding school, provided my application succeeded. Yet, I spent hours searching for a room-for-rent, only to find that none of the owners were willing to rent their rooms for such a short period of time. Right until the day before my flight, I still had nowhere to stay. In the end, I decided to call my ex-teacher and asked if I could stay with her for a couple of days while I looked for a room to rent. Thankfully, she said yes, and so I ended up staying in her place for the next one month.
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| It was her birthday last week. Thank you madam, for everything J |
August 2012
Although it was very nice of my ex-teacher to let me stay with her, it was far from the comfort I used to enjoy during the holiday. Back home, I had a bedroom with a queen-sized bed all for myself. Yet, I had to sleep on a fold-able mattress on the floor in my ex-teacher's place. That wasn't the end. At that time, I was going through a heartbreak, and since I missed all the orientations and camps, I virtually had no friends to talk with. I ended up sitting on the sofa all by myself in self-pity, wondering why all these happened to me. "Why me?", I asked God. As a perfectionist, I had visualized how my life would look like when I went back to Singapore - happily attached, made a lot of new friends, had my own comfortable room, and all the great things I could have had. So where did I go wrong, that I deserved such a tragic ending? Honestly, it was a very tough struggle for me. I had nothing to do whole day, since school was yet to start. I was still very sad after losing my significant one. Back then, I had two options. I could continue wallowing in self-pity and refused to accept the stark reality that I had lost everything, OR I could start reflecting on my experience and learned something from it. I'm not gonna lie - I chose the first one. For the next two weeks, I turned into an emo and bitter person with no purpose in life. There were moments when it was all too overwhelming that I really had to struggle just to hold back tears. I was tired, both emotionally and mentally.
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| The good life I have planned |
Then came the watershed moment (i.e. turning point) to it. On one of the days, I was so free that I decided to read the story of Job in the Bible. Job used to have everything - wealth, happy family, social status, health - before God let Satan test him by taking everything he had. I thought that my story is similar to his, so perhaps there might be some things I could learn from him. (By the way, at the end of the story, God restored Job's life with twice as much blessings, so Job must have responded to his situation well.) So how did Job respond when everything he had was taken away? The answer can be found on
Job 1:21.
And he said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the LORD."
Right there, right then, I felt as if I was slapped on the face. What was my suffering compared to Job's? I'm still as healthy as ever. I have the best family anyone could ever ask for. I'm blessed more than most people are. If Job, in his great loss, could still praise God, why couldn't I?
After I finished reading the book of Job, I decided to change my attitude entirely. Whenever I felt sad, I would pray and worship God in songs and writings. Whenever I remembered my significant one, I would quietly pray for her in my heart. I told myself that God is more than able to change my situation in a blink of an eye. After all, my story with her was a miracle in itself. (How many people you know manage to escape the friendzone alive?) Truly, God gave and God took away; blessed be His name.
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| Yet another lesson I learned through all that happened |
September 2012
So, did things suddenly got better from then on? No. In fact, things only got worse when I started talking less and less with her. There was no news about my assistant hall tutor application yet, either. If prayers are powerful, then why didn't it work for me? Why hasn't my situation got better? I struggled with that question before God spoke through my beloved aunt.
If you are evil, and a powerful prayer is coming towards you, what are you going to do? You will try to fight back to make the situation worse, right? What does it prove? Your prayer is so strong that evil actually fears.
There was no word to say how encouraged and strengthened I was by my aunt. Holding on to His promise, I moved forward in faith to where I am today.
October 2012
Back to the present, today marks 70th day of my walk with God here in Singapore. It has not been easy, but looking back, it was well worth the pain. To cut the long story short, God has been challenging me in a few areas of my life since August. His plan was made known to me through the Bible verses He gave me along the way. I'd like to share some of them with you here.
Fear not, for I am with you. (Isaiah 41:10)
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)
If there is one thing that has kept me going, it must be His Word from the Bible. Everyday when I read the Bible in my quiet time, I was constantly reminded of God's love and mercy in my life, and that He has the best plan for me. God is good, yeah?
Right now, I'm sitting for a test of faith from God. I can't tell you the story in detail, but I believe that He will give me the strength to pass the test in flying colors. But don't worry, I would surely share the good news with all of you once the test is over. So yeah, that's all I have to say. I want to end this writing with another verse from the Bible, which is found in
Ephesians 3:20.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.
Keep praying, keep believing, keep strengthening one another in faith. I hope you are blessed with what you just read. If you are, please share this message so that more people will have their lives touched as well. Jesus bless you.
J
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