A glimpse of my first day as a uni student

Hello. Last Monday was officially my first day as an NUS student. To tell you frankly, it wasn’t that bad. The first lecture was 2 hours of Marketing from 9 to 11 am (very early, I know). The prof has a funny Singlish accent, which made it difficult at first to absorb what he was saying. Nevertheless, after the first hour has passed, I was already more comfortable with his teaching style. Despite not knowing anyone in the lecture, I found the class interesting (maybe cos I’m into this kind of business-related stuffs). It also turned out that the prof was the co-author of the textbook we are going to use for this semester. Cool huh? But it won’t sound cool anymore if I tell you that the book cost me $53 (that’s after discount already). That’s enough $$$ to go for sushi buffet three times. L

Da book

After that, I was supposed to have an English class for Critical Thinking and Writing, but fortunately (or unfortunately) the class was cancelled, leaving me with 5 hours of free and easy before the next class started. However, I had to attend a placement test for my Chinese class before heading for lunch. The test was so hard, I gave up halfway. Thanks to the test, I was late for a lunch appointment with my Chemical Engineering (Chem Eng) buddies. In the end, I had my lunch alone. Luckily the food was good, as I will eat this food for the next four years.

After lunch, I decided to spend the rest of my free time in the library where I met Novi. She was sleeping (lol) when I saw her in the snack corner. I read my new marketing book while waiting for her to wake up. We then talked about many things, including her question “If a guy likes a girl, what would he want her to give him?” Weird, I know. Haha. But time flew as we talked, and it was time for Math lecture (yay or boo?)

We had two hours of Math. It was good cos I got to sit with our other Chem Eng friends (Ivan, Novi, Marcella, Icha). The lecturer for this module had decent English grammatically, but his thick Chinese accent made it hard to catch what he said. For instance, his pronunciation of “down” sounded like “tongue”. His intonation was also very flat and had a dozing effect. Bad, bad news for me, since Math isn’t my strongest subject. Well, guess it just means that I must put in more effort in this subject.

That’s pretty much how my first day went. Not so bad, right? Will write another post about the dance open classes I went for in that week next time. That’s all for now folks! Jesus bless you all J

Bonus: my timetable (assuming my balloting is successful). If you notice, I always have a day or two off after two days of school e.g. Mon-Tue school, Wed holiday, Thurs-Fri school, Sat-Sun holiday. Good life huh...

What happened last week (part I)

Hi again. Just came back from church on a Saturday night. Tired, but feel like I should write another blog post. God has done so many miracles in my life recently, and I want to share some of them. It may get a little personal, so here we go.


1. Jesus healed my broken heart

It's like stating the obvious. From my past few posts, I'm sure anyone can tell that I've just had a heartbreaking experience. I don't want to go into the detail. It doesn't really matter now anyway. There is this close friend I've had a crush on for like forever. Things went well at first, but as times passed by, we realized that it wasn't gonna work out anymore between us. We decided to end it there and then, but I guess I was the one left with a worse heartbreak. There were days when I was so depressed, all I could do was praying and reading the Bible. At times, it was also hard to withhold tears from flowing. As pathetic as it may sound, I would break down in the shower when the painful feelings got to its worst. It was all regret and sadness back then.

However, looking back, there were positive sides to the experience as well. During those days, I managed to finish the whole book of Job and Psalm in just a few days. I'm gonna move on to Matthew, and then Rome, very soon. I also got as close to Jesus as ever, spending way more time in prayer than before. I drew strength from His Word as well as from singing worship songs whenever and wherever I could. Talking to my friends and family helped a lot, too. Right now, I'm already feeling much better, although it may take some time for the wound to heal completely. It was so painful, trust me. Nonetheless, the whole experience has drawn me closer to Jesus in every aspect. Thus, I know for sure that this is all part of His plan for me. Learn to be thankful. As Pastor Phil shared in church this evening, "Don't underestimate the power of a grateful heart."


2. Jesus healed my body

Besides the painful heartbreak, I had been struggling with health issues in this past week as well. As some of you may have known, every freshman student at NUS has to undergone a medical test before enrolling into the university. I first took the test in May this year. I breezed through the stations with confidence, only to find that there was a problem with my urine test result. After consulting the doctor, I discovered that my urine sample contained excessive amount of blood, which wasn't a good news at all. The doctor advised me to repeat the test as soon as I was back in Singapore. Then, on the first day of August, I came back to the University Health Center (UHC) to repeat my test.

I felt neither anxious nor afraid, as I thought I was just unlucky the other day. I was wrong. When the result was released, the concentration of blood in the urine sample increased compared to the last time. To give you a clearer picture, normal people should only have 0-3 part of blood in their urine sample. The result for my second test revealed that my urine sample contained 150 part of blood. It was 50 times that of a normal person. If you think that it wasn't a big deal, you were wrong once again. High level of blood in the urine sample may be linked to serious diseases such as kidney stones, urinary tract infection, or even cancers. Bad news.

This time round, the doctor asked me to see a specialist immediately, to which I objected. Besides the likely exorbitant cost it might incur, I shuddered at the possibility of having to suffer serious illnesses. Instead, I requested to take the test for the third time. I then spent the next one week drinking bottles after bottles of water because I thought it could help to dissolve the blood. I couldn't do any exercise either, as it might affect the result of the test. My parents were equally worried, if not more. I told them to prepare for the worst if I failed the test again. We prayed hard, asking Jesus to touch and heal me from whatever had caused the excessive blood level. When the day for the repeat test came, I surrendered everything to Him. Did all I could: drinking water like camels, saying 'no' to futsal, and so on. The rest was His, I prayed. Truly, our God is One who never disappoints. It turned out that the test was my third and last. In only one week, my blood level dropped from 150 to zero. Praise the Lord!


Right now, I've been praying hard, asking God what He wants me to do next. Here is the verse that I got from Him:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL these things shall be added to you." - Matthew 6:33

Yup, I'll use this opportunity to hone my faith in Jesus. After all, as a friend told me, talking to God about the person is more powerful than talking to the person herself. Pray hard, move on with life, and perhaps one day miracles will happen in my life. I'll close with this verse from Matthew:

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." - Matthew 7:7

Christ bless you all :)

Maroon 5 - Payphone

I must say this is one of my favorite songs of all time. At first, I didn't pay much attention to the lyrics. Now that I do, I realize how similar the lyrics is to my own story. Allow me to go through the lyrics, line by line. I promise this won't be an emo post. I hope you don't have to go through the same experience as me :)

"Home" is your heart, and "all of my change" means my everything. I gave it my all, trying to reach your heart.

We used to share good times together, but everything just seems wrong, now that you left. What were plans would have to remain as plans, never to become our reality.

It's just so easy to lose ourselves as we move on with our new lives. There will come a time when we won't even recognize ourselves as we look back to how we used to be.

I really struggled hard to accept the bitter truth that you will never be mine, that we are never destined to be together.

I never dared to ask you for a second chance. When you told me it's not gonna work out, deep inside I was longing for another chance to make it right this time. But I never had it.

If only you said yes, we could have been happy together now. Yet, here I am, trying desperately to save whatever friendship remains between us.

Not really. I believe everything happened for a purpose. I don't know what it is, but I believe He knows what He's doing. But I can't deny that I was totally "paralyzed", devastated and heartbroken when you "turned out the lights", ending whatever happily-ever-after stories we could have had.

Yeah, even the most beautiful story has to end someday. It was love, wasn't it? Too bad something has to come around and screw everything up.

Nah. Not for me at least. I have lost you. Why should I believe in the happy ever after lie?

Some stories are just too good to be true, including ours.

Yeah, I know the future looks so much more fun and exciting for you. But please, never forget who or what was behind you. You wouldn't be where you are if not for them, you know.

I did. And when you decided to threw it away, it hurt like hell.

I wasn't fine. Far from it. I really liked you, so how can you expect me to be fine when I lost you? But you don't have to worry, because I will be alright. I will...

I hope this won't happen to us. We lost the love. Don't let the friendship burn down too.

Now I'm at the Payphone...

I'll still be here. Just look back, and I'll be there for you...

A long-overdue thank-you note :)

As I was browsing through the older posts in my blog, I noticed that my last thank-you note was written almost two years ago. I forgot to be thankful, especially during a time like this when nothing seems right anymore. So here I am, trying to write a thank-you note despite everything that has been happening lately. Here we go...

My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
God, I'm sorry if I have loved her more than I love You. I still remember my first prayer to You about her: "If she is the one for me, let it be so. If not, please take her away." It's all crystal-clear now. Although this might not be what I want, I still thank You for the strength to go through this difficult time. Thank you, Father.

Papah and Mamah
Thank you for taking care of me, especially as I spent my holiday with both of you this year. I'm sorry for those times when I hurt you with my words. If only I had listened to mom's advice, I wouldn't have been this heartbroken right now. So yeah, I couldn't express how grateful I am to be your son. Thank you...

Ema
Thank you grandma, for always listening to my story about her, without judging me or anything. Thank you for the invaluable advice and encouragement. Your presence has been a gift from God, and I'm thankful for that. You may never see this, but I hope you know how much I love you, ma.

Ooh Lilis
From the start, you have always been that special aunt in my life. Thank you for listening as I poured my hearts out to you. Seriously, you are like a role model for me, and the standard you set is so high! Thank you for teaching me the Five Fingers Prayer, too. I can only say thank you, thank you, thank you for your love, although I am not even your own son...

Deiver
Thanks bro, for everything. You have been a great friend, and sometimes even a role model, to me especially since we both moved to Singapore years ago. We might not always talk about everything, but when we do, it really gives me the strength to keep going. Thanks God for my brother.

Gide, Bijei, Sunson
Thank you guys, for always being there for me in my high and low. This may sound gay, but I love all of you. I wouldn't have been able to survive heartbreaks in the past, and definitely not this time, if not for you all. Thank you.

Josephine
Thanks Pin, for always being the listening ear when others are too tired with my sad stories. Thank you for all the words of encouragement when I was feeling down. Thank you for letting me see things from the girls' perspectives. Thank you for reminding me to count on God in everything. Thank you.

Pauline
Thank you for being one of the few girls I can be really close to. Although we may not talk as often as we used to, now that you are in Melbourne, I want you to know how thankful I am for all the stories and the good times we shared. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Kezia
Don't judge me because I include her name here, although we barely know each other. Just wanna thank you for all the writings in your blog. You have no idea how much they have helped me through the hard times. Continue to be stronger in Him, and be a blessing to more people, just like how you have been to me.

Others, so many that I can't write all your names here
Miss Grace Kwee, Freddy GS, Liauw, Adit, Metew, Ooh Leina, and many more. Thank you for being part of my life, each of you adding colours into it. Thank you.

Anguish

Into the second week here, and still nothing much to do. Should have signed up for Engin O-Week earlier instead of waiting for my friends. Regret, that ‘s it.

Things haven’t really got better, either. Still homeless, and mentally worn-out from the seemingly-endless problems. You were still as distant as ever, both physically and emotionally. I start to wonder if things will ever get better between us. It’s almost been a month, you know. If only I could turn back the time to that day when I saw you for the last time. It hurts to look back. A lot.

Sometimes I wish I could go to any university I want to, with or without scholarship. But yeah, I know life isn’t always fair. As much as I know how harmful the phrase “If only” is, I can’t seem to get away from it. If only this, if only that...

From wishing to become your significant one, I have downgraded my wish all the way to just being friends. Right now, I’ll be happy if I can still talk to you. Yeah, I lost everything in just a week. One week is all it takes. It’s all a mess now, and I have nobody to blame but myself. Yet, everything has always been too good to be true from the start. Should have realized that it wouldn’t last. Far from it, in fact.

But I know things cannot remain this way forever. I might have fallen down, but I must pick myself up, soon or later. I try my best to fix my eyes on Him, who is more than able to make everything better right here, right now. Been praying hard, but things only seem to get worse and worse. It's been a while since my faith was tested like this. I try to believe that I'm not far from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. If I can endure all these trials, things will soon get better. Keep praying, keep believing. Hope everything is well for you over there, too...

Just wanna share a verse with you all

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

- Isaiah 41:10

His Timely Encouragement

Hello. Here I am on the Saturday afternoon, writing my thoughts and feelings in this blog of mine. Last night, I was feeling so down that all I could do was just lying down on my bed. Yet, my brother reminded me that "When you are feeling sad, the best thing to do is to blog!" It was then that I learned two things: that I should write another blog post, and that my brother has a blog. So, the next morning (which is this morning), I turned my laptop on, and started searching for his blog. It was nowhere to be found, neither in his Facebook nor in his Twitter. Finally, after much effort, I found it.

"When you are feeling sad, the best thing to do is to blog!"

His blog is simplistic, but it became obvious to me after reading his recent two posts that his writings are honest, and come straight from the heart. He wrote about a lot of things, from friendship to love to academics. There is one post in which he wrote about me helping him for his IOC, and how thankful he is for it. It was nothing, bro. Glad to be of help. I want you to know something, though. Whenever people ask me what are my most proud moments in life, I would answer them with two things. First, that I won a scholarship to Singapore five years ago. Second, that my brother himself won the same scholarship too. There is no better feeling than to know that your sibling is doing as well, if not more, than you do.

There is no better feeling than to know that your sibling is doing as well, if not more, than you do.

Me and my bro

Just as how your writing has brightened my day significantly, so I want to take my turn to cheer you up. Yes, IB can be overwhelming at times. I know how it feels to be only months away from the final exam because I have been through it myself. But it's only August now, and there's more than enough time to catch up with your study. Remember, the fact that you won the scholarship by your own effort (and God's grace, of course) means that you have the potential to excel in school. Now that all the assignments and CCAs are over, take the time everyday to start revising your concepts. If I get the place as an AHT, I would dedicate my time to help you prepare for the prelim, and then the IB exam. Don't hesitate to ask me if you are unclear with anything. I might not be the smartest senior around, but I'm willing to go the extra mile just for my brother. Work hard, but more importantly, pray hard. God is never "setengah-setengah" in doing His work, and when He gave you the scholarship to ACSI, He would surely give you the strength to push on and do well in school. Do know that our family (papah, mamah, and even ema) are all behind you, praying for you everyday.

Yes, it's been a wonderful 18-19 years I have spent with my brother. Right now, he is three months away from his IB exam. I'm sure he will work hard, but no matter how he does, we all still love him. Now go there and reach your dream!