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April 4th, 2013. Here I am, sitting in front of my computer, trying to pen down my thoughts. It's been a while since the last time I blogged. More than two months ago, to be precise. Now, I'll try to write about something that's very dear to our hearts: Love.
As a child, all my notions about love came from songs and movies:
"Love is romantic."
"Love means holding hands with the girl I love."
"I will cross the ocean for love."
... and many other cheesy lines. As a matter of fact, I didn't (and still don't) really talk about the matters of the heart with my parents, so I had to figure things out myself. Not that I was totally wrong, though. It's true that being romantic is one expression of love, but surely it's not everything. Fast forward ten years from then, the 21-year-old me now knows a little bit more about love. Many of what I'm going to write might still be wrong, but hopefully it's able to better portray love as what it really is.
Love means taking care of your better half, even when you don't feel like it
Yes, I'm also human with flaws and weaknesses. As much as I cherish my good days, I have my bad days too every now and then. In fact, despite coming across as a very rational and logical person, I often use my heart more than my head. Problem is, feelings do not always tell us the truth. It's so easy to be angry, even at someone we love, in one of our not-so-good days. The key to a lasting relationship really is understanding that our better halves have their own bad days too, and so to love them and take care of them anyway, regardless of whether we feel like it. After all, that's when our loved ones need us the most.
So, the next time your mom yells at you, please don't yell back. Maybe she just had a rough day at work, or maybe it is her time of the month. Or if the boy/girl that you like is not replying your text, please don't assume that he/she is not into you. Perhaps he/she is struggling with school work or family issue. The bottom line is: "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
So, the next time your mom yells at you, please don't yell back. Maybe she just had a rough day at work, or maybe it is her time of the month. Or if the boy/girl that you like is not replying your text, please don't assume that he/she is not into you. Perhaps he/she is struggling with school work or family issue. The bottom line is: "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
For love to last, don't build its foundation on things that don't
One thing I discovered as I grew up is that love is more than just loving feelings between boy and girl. Some of you would already be thinking that love is about commitment, wouldn't you? Sure, commitment is important to make any relationship works, but actually what you build your love relationship on is what matters the most.
I used to think that any feelings that last longer than 4 months (yes, I WAS that shallow) are considered to have passed the test of time, and thus must be real feelings. I was wrong. Things eventually took turns for the worse, and the feeling was gone just like that. I learned that the length of the relationship / loving feelings should not be the foundation of my relationships.
So, what should a good foundation be? As an engineering student, I function most of the time by logic: what makes sense and what doesn't. Having said that, doesn't it make sense that if you want to build something that's supposed to last for the rest of your life, you will take extra care to build a solid foundation for it? This is where my points come in:
One thing I discovered as I grew up is that love is more than just loving feelings between boy and girl. Some of you would already be thinking that love is about commitment, wouldn't you? Sure, commitment is important to make any relationship works, but actually what you build your love relationship on is what matters the most.
"... what you build your love relationship on is what matters the most."Okay, let me give you an example. Say, you base your love relationship on loving feelings and thrills, which is what many people will do. Sure, all these lovey-dovey feelings do feel good (been there, done that yup). But the question is, how long would the feeling last? One month? One year? How confident are you that you will stick with that person no matter what for the next 50, 60 years?
I used to think that any feelings that last longer than 4 months (yes, I WAS that shallow) are considered to have passed the test of time, and thus must be real feelings. I was wrong. Things eventually took turns for the worse, and the feeling was gone just like that. I learned that the length of the relationship / loving feelings should not be the foundation of my relationships.
So, what should a good foundation be? As an engineering student, I function most of the time by logic: what makes sense and what doesn't. Having said that, doesn't it make sense that if you want to build something that's supposed to last for the rest of your life, you will take extra care to build a solid foundation for it? This is where my points come in:
- Don't seek love. When the right time comes, it will find you.
- Instead, use your time to build a strong foundation for it.
As quoted from the wise King Solomon: "Don't awaken love until it pleases". Have faith that, when God thinks that you are ready for it, the right person will come at the right time. Meanwhile, focus on improving yourself in all that you do. If you play guitar, be better at it or pick up new instruments for your better half in the future. If you can't run a marathon, go out and train yourself to run for him/her. I believe that the best expression of love you can do if you are still single is to be a better person, if not for yourself, then for your significant one in the future.
"Have faith that, when God thinks that you are ready for it, the right person will come at the right time."
"... the best expression of love you can do if you are still single is to be a better person, if not for yourself, then for your significant one in the future."
As for the foundation that would last, I myself am building mine on the rock of faith. For me, it's not religion or Christianity that would remain at the end of the day. Instead, it's Whom you believe in that makes the world. I've been a Christian all my life, yet I discovered how true He is, the Person I place my trust in, only a few years ago. I've had experiences and encounters that can only make me very certain that He is real, that He exists. It's on this Person that I would build the foundation of my love relationship. After all, it's the only thing I know that would last.
Yes, love never fails, but only if it has a strong foundation. I know that when His time has come, the right person will come into my life. She might already be here, or is going to appear soon, that I do not know. But I know that she will come. I hope you will build your love relationship on God, too. Jesus bless you.
"Love never fails, but only if it has a strong foundation."
